Intimacy: Romance Vs. Friendship

Photo by Luis Zambrano from Pexels

“The height of intimacy is friendship, not romance.”

So let’s get our terms clearly defined 😎:

Intimacy – The state of having a close personal relationship with somebody.

Friendship – A relationship between friends.

Romance – An exciting usually short relationship between 2 people who are in love with each other.

Have you experienced this sort of DEEP emotional connection with someone such that any time you are around that person your heart leaps πŸ€“?

If you haven’t, I have and times without number πŸ‘€πŸ˜. However, I have learned that these are impulses and need to be managed.

Besides having these impulses, we will definitely get to interact with people who have something that attracts us to them. However, building intimacy based on this foundation alone is shallow and might not be sustainable.

The difference between romance and friendship is that most romantic relationships end when the pleasure stops, however, true friendship stands for life.

The goal of romance is often emotional pleasure, however, the goal of true friendship transcends just emotions.

In our walk with God and people, we need to grow our relationship past the state of the momentary emotional pleasures we can gain and come into a true “communion/common union.”

Communion is the core of intimacy.

In “common-union” there is a oneness, there is a bond, there is a depth of connection that can inspire sacrificial living for the benefit of both parties.

That’s why true friendships will last for a good period, they are built on values that are not transient.

Friendship without sacrifice is shallow. If you were to ever walk in true friendship with another person, this will necessitate you coming into their world and letting go of certain things, and relating with them at their level (whether high or low).

True friends know how to give and forgive.
True friends are consistent and are not bent on a “one-night-stand.”
True friends won’t intentionally hurt you and will seek to see that you progress in the right way even if it came at a cost to them.

In terms of relationships that will lead to marriage, I believe the greatest asset you can have for a partner is a great friend.

I started this article with the statement, “The height of intimacy is friendship, not romance” why?

Because a lot of youths need to understand that the best foundation for a godly marriage is a godly friend.

Let’s build the right friendships today and commensurately allow the Lord to lead us in making the right marital partners.

Passionate lovers will come and go but faithful friends will STAY till the end πŸ€—β€οΈ

PS: Passionate love in a godly context should still be a goal in your relationship, however, let it start-off the right way.

Shalom ✌️

2 thoughts on “Intimacy: Romance Vs. Friendship

  1. Thank you for this.
    We must build intimacy on friendship to enhance its longevity. I got value!

    Like

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